良知和教育(3)

澳門導報官網澳門導報 发布时间:2020/01/10 点击数: 18771

編者按:

每個人都有自己喜歡的生活方式,Diego 和 Anna很幸運,因為他們有共同喜歡的生活方式。編者認為,這種生活方式給他們帶來的最大好處就是:“擁有整個世界”不再是一句空談。諾大的世界就是他們的家,他們遊歷八方的經歷所產生的各種感受、世界觀、人生理念或許是顛覆性的,且極具震撼力。澳門導報希望把他們的經歷分享給廣大讀者。(瀏覽連載請關注網站www.am-zm.com )

 

原創:Diego and Anna 

作者:安娜卡倫娜 Anna Caranta     

翻譯:Ayla櫻子

校對、編輯:Sicily、Diego

(续上期)

前段時間有個人說他看到我無懼地讓孩子亂跑亂跳、爬上爬下使他很驚訝,然後我試著跟他簡單傳達我的想法:如果我故意略過這件事,如果我在他們面前顯得很害怕,孩子們就會開始懷疑他們自己並且也害怕起來了。也許我們保護孩子的方式就是不要去禁止他們,而是盡可能在孩子的有限能力範圍之內提高他們的警惕。久而久之,他們的自信就會固若磐石。有了這個基礎,孩子們就會變得有力量與內在的定力,然後帶着極大的安全感進入未來的人生旅途。所以我覺得自信可能是我們能給予孩子們的最好的人生禮物。

Some weeks ago someone told me he was surprise to see how we let our kids run, jump and climb without fears. I tried then transmiting a simple idea: if I skim, if I show that it scares me, the child disbelieves in his own capacity and gets scared. Perhaps to protect them is better not to forbid, but to prevent raising awareness of the child own limits, give him some knowledge and our trust. Tomorrow, this confidence will be like a ground. And with that ground on where to rest, the person that child have transformed into will have a strength and inner peace that will allow walking the path with a greater security. Your confidence is perhaps one of the greatest gifts you can give to your children.

失敗只是一張假面具:慶祝犯錯吧因為這才是通向學習的道路

我想回到嬰兒初期來描述這一點。在孩子學會走路前,他曾經跌倒又爬起來幾次?每一次他摔倒時,他都在從大人的眼裡搜尋訊號,以確認自己有沒有做對。如願以償,寶寶會從大人微笑的眼睛裡看到“什麼都沒發生”,然後也跟著笑了,若無其事把摔倒看作是一件平常的事情然後繼續爬起來再次嘗試。我們每個人都會犯錯。不管是在學校,在親密關係中,在工作中,在我們每天都需要做的決定中。其實錯誤是避免不了的,而且真相是我們離不開犯錯。我們是從犯錯裡學習,然後在人生的路上不斷修正和前行。人的一生當中需要不斷學習,試錯,然後修正和成長,然後提升。我的一位生物學家朋友曾經大笑着告訴我:人生實際上就是由“錯誤”造就的。因為某些細胞出現了一些差錯而導致的變異,由此造成了新的生命呈現。試著這樣想:有時候好事也是由錯誤造就的。所以,我們應該怎麼做才是呢?當事情存在着錯誤的時候,也存在了恐懼的成分,然後我們就會去逃避它,也會做一些哭泣或者後悔的舉動來掩飾它。

THE FAILURE DOES NOT EXIST: CELEBRATE MISTAKES, BECAUSE THOSE ALLOW LEARNING

  I return to the baby stage to illustrate that idea. How many times does he get up and fall, before he can walk? And whenever he/she falls and looks into the eyes of the adult who observes him/her, he/she seeks to know if was right or wrong. Hopefully babies will find a smile in adult eyes, a "nothing happens", then the baby laughs, the baby knows that nothing happens, that anyone can fall easily, get up again and try again. We make mistakes all our life. At school, in our intimate relationships, at work, in decisions we make in daily life. These mistakes are inevitable; they are, in fact, absolutely necessary. It is from thosethat we can learn, and move forward by improving ourselves along the way. You never finish learning, and making mistakes, rectifying and growing and learning. A biologist friend told me, laughing, that life was actually produced because of “mistakes". It is because some cells made some mistakes that those have mutated and have resulted in new ways of life. And, thinking about it: sometimes good things also come out from "mistakes." So, what does our behavior have to be? When there is error, there is the possibility of being scared, and trying to hide it. Also to regret it and stay crying about what we did wrong. There is the possibility of punishing oneself and thinking that we deserve the worst.